Celebrating Love #125

Leslie Oster:

There's this real romance around a Maine wedding, as testified by every magazine, including our wonderful Maine magazine. Whether it's on a farm or whether it's at this ocean, there's something magical, and I think in general that's something magical about Maine, which we are very lucky to live in.

Kate Martin:

My brides and grooms are smart, hardworking, intelligent, savvy young adults. I have to kind of keep up with what they're following and what they're into, so there's never any standing still. I'll never say that what I do is fully realized because it's always evolving.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

This is Dr. Lisa Belisle and you are listening to the Dr. Lisa Radio Hour and podcast show number 125 Celebrating Love, airing for the first time on Sunday, February 2, 2014. Today's guests include Leslie Oster, general manager with Aurora Provisions, and Kate Martin, owner and creative director with Beautiful Days. Over the years, many couples from here and from away have celebrated their love by being married in Maine. Each February, Maine Magazine celebrates Love with its Wedding issue, which tells the stories of these special couples. Leslie Oster and Kate Martin, who have been a part of countless special wedding days today, share their perspective about what it means to celebrate love in Maine. Thank you for joining us.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

I love it when I have the chance to bring friends of mine into the studio and have conversations. And I'm not just bringing them into the studio to have conversations because they're my friends. I'm bringing them in for other reasons. Today I'm speaking with Leslie Oster, who has been a friend of mine for a while. She is also the general manager at Aurora Provisions and works quite a lot with the Contemporaries group at the Portland Museum of Art. And she's everywhere, doing everything, connected with every everyone. So anybody who doesn't know Leslie Oster, you will soon know her. And today we're Going to talk to her. So. Thanks for coming in, Leslie.

Leslie Oster:

Thank you, sweetie. That was a lovely introduction.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Well, it's kind of appropriate because we are now in the month of February, we're talking about celebrating love. We know that you've been a big part of the Maine Magazine wedding issue for many years, and the work that you do brings you in contact with people who are themselves celebrating love through weddings and other events. Why do you do the work that you do?

Leslie Oster:

I don't know that we set out to be this kind of wedding machine that we are. When Marika first bought Aurora, the women who owned it previously, you may know, Cheryl and Noreen, that have El Rao, who did a great job of setting up Aurora. And then Marika's owned it for 14 years now. And I came with her to sort of build the catering end of it. And it just kind of happened that we fell into this wedding world. And wedding and funerals, we never turn funerals down. It's just this kind of. And I think it's partly because we're. It's. It's a place where artistry really can make magic. You know, you can work with people and realize their dreams. And every story is a different story, and every couple has a different vibe and what they want it to be about and how it has to really be reflective of them. And we're in a unique situation because we don't have set menus, we don't have set ideas, we don't have set venues that we go to. You know, as you know, we've catered out of closets before. And so it's really a lovely process to sit down with a couple at the beginning when they're just so excited and then watch the process through and really hone. Hone their ideas and then be able to complement who they are with what we do. So it was kind of like theater for me. And I was a theater major back in the day and a filmmaker, so it was. And Marika is a painter. So this artistry is really important to us and through food to be able to paint a palette that really reflects who those people are and what they're about. So that at the end of the day, it wasn't like, oh, that was a great caterer, that was a great florist, but that was a great wedding. You know, that everything came together and represented those people, the two people getting married and whoever they may be. And we. And it's really interesting how many couples I maintain friendships with. You know, I think one of the couples that are going to be. That Kate and I work together is going to be in the issue. Lindsay Kraus and her husband, Evan Weinberg, and they are just. They. Every time they come to me, they come in and we have lunch together or we have. We visit together. I'm pretty sure as soon as they get pregnant, I'll be one of the first in the loop to know. I mean, you just. You create these bonds with people. That is pretty special.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Even the name Aurora is lyrical. I mean, it's. I believe Aurora was the goddess of the dawn.

Leslie Oster:

She is the goddess of the dawn.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Yeah. So is. Right. I don't think she's gone anywhere.

Leslie Oster:

Hopefully not.

Kate Martin:

Right.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

But even that does speak to some bigger theme. It's not just, here's a sandwich, eat this sandwich and have fun at your wedding. It really is this idea that. It's this sensuality and the tastes and really incorporating all of these things into this celebration.

Leslie Oster:

And it's funny, when I ask the girls sort of how they came up with the name, they have a story that is different from how we perceived it. So when Marika first came, we had this, and it's still on our old logo. I don't know if it's still there, but it's the. It's a beautiful. I went and saw the painting in Florence, this water carrier from the painting of the head of John the Baptist. So, I mean, that was how we sort of rebranded of this idea of this woman bringing water and fruits. She's got this beautiful head of fruits, and she's sort of bringing this offering into the painting and into the scene. And I think that, you know, we. We just sort of tried to kind of hold on to that through the years. I mean, the original tagline was beautiful food for busy people. And I think we've sort of moved over 13 years, moved away from that. We still want to make beautiful food, but it's more about, you know, bringing beauty into food and sort of bringing emotion into food.

Kate Martin:

And.

Leslie Oster:

And so that when you. When you dine, you're not just eating, you're actually having an experience. And I think when I first came to the wedding world, nobody really cared about the meal. It was all about, well, we have to do the first dance and we have to do the toasts and we have to do. And then we have to get to the dancing, and then there's the after party. And I'm like, well, what about the meal? Isn't that sort of what you're here for? Isn't that the celebratory dining together, breaking bread together. And so one of the first things I ask people is to, like, slow down and let's think about. Let's think about that meal. Let's not rush through everything. And I think some. And in retrospect, some of the nicest weddings are the smaller ones that have the long tables of 25 people. And they're just. They're so happy to just share. And they're so happy to share the experience. And the food becomes, you know, sort

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

of the vessel for that as you're describing it. It does strike me that there's something very sacramental about it. There's something very, you know, it's like. It is the communion, it is the breaking of the bread. And you're right. I've been to a number of weddings in event halls where you're served the rubber chicken and the hard rolls, and you're kind of forced to sit around with people that you may or may not really know. And there's sort of a discomfort. But, you know, the opposite side of that is really opening yourself up to the tastes of the food that you're eating and the smells and the beautiful

Leslie Oster:

arrangements and, you know, and bringing. And also bringing as much of the couple into the food. You know, somebody. We've done, I mean, God, we've done an Indian wedding. We've done Chinese, we've done, you know, Polish. We've, you know, so it's kind of. That's really fun too, because it's not, you know. You know, what did you grow up with? What did you grow up with? Eating? And the interview that I put brides and grooms through, it's like, what do you. Like, what do you. It's even almost more, what do you dislike is what guides us when we're writing menus? Because that's so much easier to pin. Or, you know, what are your favorite restaurants? Or what is your family culture? Is there something special? You know, do you have to have fin and Hattie? Do you have to have lobster? Do you have to have pierogi? I mean, whatever it is that your grandmother will really appreciate that you took the time to remember that part of your culture. Or, you know, South End Italian cookie or North End Italian cookies? You know, something that's just bringing memory into it and history and, you know, connecting all the dots. I mean, you're marrying two families together, you're bringing two families together. Hopefully they're all there. And why not share a meal and get to know each other and celebrate the couple? But also Celebrate the joining of families.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

It's also nice that you're able to offer something to people that they don't always have time to do for themselves. This last Christmas, the significant man in my life, he and I wanted to host Christmas Eve dinner for my family. My family is very large. It's French and Irish Catholic. There's many of them and many small children. And I work and the man in my life works. We all have a lot going on. And you were able to step in and create these amazing vegetable dishes and a main course that I actually eat, which is not always the case because I don't eat meat. And it was exactly what we would have wanted to be able to do for ourselves, which is huge.

Leslie Oster:

And I think that that is sort of the beauty of Aurora and the amazing team that is there. I mean, we just, we can't say no. Like yes is the answer. What's the question? And you know, sort of, that's one of the abiding rules. And you know, Marika certainly instills that in all of us. And she's the first one to, you know, at 62, to be in the kitchen working a nine hour day, which is pretty impressive. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to give your age out loud, but it is, I mean, for a woman, you know, she's been in, she was one of the first women to ever have a restaurant in Maine, in Belfast, back in the 70s. And you know, I'm so inspired by her. And I think everybody that works with us is inspired. Our head chef's almost 50. I'm almost 50. You know, we're still, we're bringing up the young kids, but we're still at it. Cause we love it. We don't want to stop. We got a good thing going.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

And that's evident even when sitting in the Aurora provisions store on the West End. I've had many meetings there. I've had my cup of soup, I've had my tea. And lots of great brain power. You can see kind of percolating around the people who sit there and the people who work there. You know, they're very friendly, they're very

Leslie Oster:

connected and they all have other aspirations. You know, this is for most of the people who aren't professional cooks, you know, or chefs, you know, the stopping, this is a stopping point on their way. And they've just finished college or they're in graduate programs or they are a jewelry maker. We have a jewelry maker, we have a couple of artists, an actress, a singer. So it Makes. So again, that's the theatrical part of it. We tend to draw in people that have similar interests and use food as a way to express it.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

What role did food play in your own life growing up? Huh?

Leslie Oster:

That's a good question. I've thought about that often. Two very separate cultures. My father's a young Ukrainian Jew, so I had a lot of cool times when I was really younger watching my grandmother make traditional Eastern European food. And it's interesting because Marika's Ukrainian too, so she had. We have very same. We grew up with similar dishes, just served different ways because they weren't Jewish. Like applesauce and latkes is not something that would ever happen in a traditional Ukraine family. But in the Jewish family, you have applesauce on your lakis. And then on the other side of my family was complete wasps like Lincoln's. And my grandfather was the cook. He would put a roast out. I lived with him the summers on Cape Cod. And he would cook a meal every night, you know, a solid American meal. You know, sort of something you'd see, you know, in Fannie Farmer or, you know, traditional cookbooks. And then I inherited his mother's recipes. And it's interesting how much we go back to them as sort of interesting, fun like lockover and traditional American recipe. So it's a real mix mash. And then I don't know that my mother actually cooked a lot when as we were getting old, she worked and then I, in the summers worked in the restaurant business on Cape Cod because that's what you did when you were in school and college. And found myself in kitchens and found myself in front of the house and back of the house and ended up just sort of learning and then opened a. Opened a bar restaurant. Well, no, it wasn't a bar really. In college with friends, the drinking age went from 2019 to 2020 to 21 while we were in college in New York. And there was a real need to look at drinking in dorms. And it was a real problem. And at one point someone fell out of a dorm window. So I was a peer counselor. And another friend of mine who was very active in that, said, well, what if we proposed a non drinking fun dance club, like a non alcoholic club, which is still going on today at Vassar, which is pretty cool. And the administration gave us money and an advisor and the Culinary Institute is right up the road. So we had an advisor from them as well. And we created this really cool open at 9 o' clock place to come and have mocktails and burgers and fries and dance yourself silly as a way to sort of combat the. The underage drinking that was going on. So that was kind of cool. So that was my first running of a restaurant. It kind of stuck, I guess.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

What's your main connection?

Leslie Oster:

My great, great grandparents were from Rockland. They're buried up at the same set. And then my mom summered here in Owlshead when she was younger, and then she, 25 years ago, decided to move to Camden, work on one of the schooners for one of the schooners who are dear friends of ours. And my sister followed and opened a business in Rockland. And then this came about and I kind of fell in love with Portland. Well, Marika took me to Hugo's when it had just sort of changed hands. And the person who I'm speaking of knows who they are. I had this fabulous meal and this amazing, amazingly handsome server, and I'm like, oh, this is nice. And looked at condos and looked at what was available, and I'm like, huh, I think I could live here. He's very happily married to one of my dear friends with children. But at the time I was like, hm, this is what it's like. Really good food and handsome men and affordable housing. I'll move to Portland. And also the business. I was really inspired by what I saw going on at Aurora and what we could build. They didn't have, really a catering department. They did a couple things a year. You know, we did 22 weddings last year, plus the museum, because we have the cafe at the museum, as you know, and all the museum events and another little business out of Pratt's Neck and how many people that get employed. And I mean, it's amazing. It just this put an addition on this this past summer. We didn't mean to do it in the summer, but that's okay. And, you know, just really grateful. I think everybody that's there is really grateful to have good work year round and that the community still supports us so, so much.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

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[Unidentified voice]:

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Dr. Lisa Belisle:

You do have a very strong connection to the arts community. As you mentioned, Aurora has the Cafe at the Portland Museum of Art, and you yourself have done a lot of work with the Contemporaries Group at the Portland Museum of Art, and I think now the Directors Circle. I think you're moving into that, aging

Leslie Oster:

out, moving on up. Right?

Kate Martin:

Right.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

And these are both groups that are supportive of the Museum, but also are very social. And the connections there are important as well. The events that the contemporaries put on, one of which is coming up this week, the first week in February, they always sell out. People always enjoy the food, the dancing, the music, the connection. And I think this goes back to the same thing you're talking about. The joy of a wedding is the same as the joy of a contemporary's event. That's being with other people and having the chance to celebrate. Celebrate love, as we talked about.

Kate Martin:

Yeah.

Leslie Oster:

And celebrate our community. I mean, I think when people come to me. And so the connection that I see is when people come to Maine to get married, it's very specific. They want that connection to Maine. And I mean, I can't tell you how many millions of Brooklyn couples we've married in Maine that all say, someday we're going to move here. And a lot of them have. There's this real romance around a Maine wedding, as testified by every magazine, including our wonderful Maine magazine, that you can't. Whether it's on a farm or whether it's at this ocean, you know, there's something magical, and I think in general, that's something magical about Maine. We have the shortest growing season of probably any state in the union, and we worship it as a result. We worship what we have. I always laugh when my couples want to have tastings in January. I'm like, well, I don't know what you want to taste, but it's not going to taste anything like your menu in August. And as you know, I work with a lot of local farms and I'm on the board of cultivating communities. So food issues are very, very, very close to my heart. So for us, it's having the beauty of this product, whether it's from our oceans or from our. From our fields, and then using that as sort of a help to the bride and groom to show off where they've decided to get married. So this is really about place. It's about place and it's about. It's about Maine, which we are very lucky to live in.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Leslie, another group that you have found very important to support is the Slow Food Maine group. You were on the steering committee for that organization. So it's not just about the food. Being from Maine, it's how the food is prepared and how we approach it and how we incorporate it into our lives.

Leslie Oster:

Absolutely. And, you know, I think, you know, I wish Mariku was here in some respects so she could tell the story, but when she moved here in the 70s, she said she would have killed her best friend for a head of lettuce that, you know, it was before we started. She said it was just horrible. You couldn't get fresh produce. And that this generation, now, we're so used to it. We're so, like, we're so lucky to have the farmers markets that we have and the indoor farmers market all winter, and that we have to actually remember that, you know, 35 years ago, that actually wasn't here in Maine and that we had, you know, now we have a lot of barren potato fields and a lot of places that are still in need of some help. And luckily, I can't believe I'm saying this, our governor did something good. He actually signed the GMO labeling bill, which we're hoping that will pass. I think four more states have to pass it to make it happen, and that's going to be huge, especially counteracting what's happened in Congress yesterday, the Supreme Court, rather, with the farmers not being able to sue Monsanto for. For compromised crops. It's just. It's crazy. And I'm not on the policy end of it, which is good because it makes my head spin. So we really try and make an effort to support our local producers. They're not all organic, but they're all local because sometimes that's entirely more important because they know what's in their fields, they know what they're bringing you, and for the most part, they're. They are organic without paying a gazillion dollars for their certification. Not a gazillion dollars, but paying for the certification. And you also, then you create connections with your farmers that then you then take back to your menu. So oftentimes, well, any restaurant in Portland, you'll actually see where it's sourced from. But it even has now come into recipes. Like, we have Floppy White. Who. The White families. Very, very, you know, Hildreth White Floppy has this wonderful tomato recipe that we made for her 10 years ago. It is now on every summer menu. And people are like, who's floppy? And then you tell this wonderful story about the coast of Maine and this. This woman who created this probably was her grandmother's recipe. So for me, it's the storytelling, too, you know, about the food, where it comes from, the love that it was grown or harvested with. I mean, our fishing industry. I mean, unbelievable people of what they're doing and how they're helping to maintain our, you know, our culture of fish and aquaculture in Maine. You know, I've been following Abigail Carroll on Facebook Non such oysters. And they were really worried with the freeze that they were going to lose all their babies. Their babies who are two years old. It takes a significant time to grow an oyster. And she posted the other day, after the thought, she's like, oh, they're all fine. They're fine. They're on the bottom. They're good. The babies are good. And you're like, you're actually invested in a baby oyster because you know that that is going to be your product in three or four years and that you get to tell that story. So I don't know. It's about storytelling. It's about storytelling and good food and love, and love of what you do and not resting on your laurels, you know, like waking up every day and saying, it's gonna be a good day, we're gonna make something good. We're gonna. And you're not gonna get every job. You're not gonna. We're not gonna be for everyone. I mean, I have had a number of. I always say I'm in. As much as you're interviewing me for your wedding, I'm interviewing you to do your wedding because the bond that's created is you have my cell phone number pretty early on. You can call me at 2 o' clock in the morning if you're freaking out. But so I have to have that trust in you the same way you have to have that trust in me that we're gonna make this work. And I had an assistant for the first time this year. She's fabulous. I think you met her, Ashley. She's gorgeous and smart and young and knows more at her age than I could have ever imagined to know back then. But just watching her, watching me train her and then watching her deal with people and like, like, wow, we can actually teach people how to do this. And that's what I'm hoping.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

That's.

Leslie Oster:

I'm hoping that we'll have a whole new generation of just kind of, I don't know, you have to have a little psychiatry in there. You got to have a little. You have to have a lot of patience and you have to be really understanding of the other, of this couple and who they are, these people. And for, for whatever reason, even if it's a, you know, especially if it's a funeral, you know, how many people you, you take that, you walk their hand through that, you become. You become like another clergy person because you're inevitably providing the comfort. And I think that that's. At the end of the day, I want people. Me personally, I want people to be fed and nourished and feel really good about what they've eaten.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

And you end up being part of their story.

Leslie Oster:

Oftentimes there's some funny, funny stories. When that book comes out, Kate and I are, we're starting it. We're, we think, you know, at first we thought it would be really fun to just do, to sort of parody like the craziest thing that ever happened at weddings. But I don't know, something, there's something in the works someday.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

I look forward to reading it. I'm sure everybody who's listening is going to look forward to reading it as well.

Leslie Oster:

It's a long way off, but it'll happen.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

It'll happen.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Leslie how do people find out about Aurora Provisions?

Leslie Oster:

Wow. Well, Maine Magazine is a really good

Kate Martin:

place to start,

Leslie Oster:

I have to say. It's probably been one of our most successful ad campaigns. We always do really funny ads. But we're on the web. We're working on a new website, actually, currently, which will be much easier for people to use. And then we're on the West End at Pine Street, 64 Pine street and we have the cafe at the Museum of Art, Portland Museum of Art. And, you know, we're pretty accessible. You just come on in and say hi and have like the best cappuccino in town, pretty much. Sorry. Bragging a little bit, but. And one of Bob Scones. Yeah. And just we're come and experience us. It's very different. It's nice because we're many different businesses under one roof.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

I can attest to that.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

And I can attest that you're many different people in one body and a joy to know. And I'm so grateful that you were able to take the time out of your very busy schedule and come talk

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

to us today about celebrating love. We've been speaking with Leslie Oster, who

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

is the general manager of Aurora Provisions

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

and a friend of mine.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

And so many more things to so many different people. Thank you for coming in today.

Leslie Oster:

Thank you for having me. It was a pleasure.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

As a physician and small business owner,

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

I rely on Marcie Booth from Booth, Maine to help me with my own

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

business and to help me live my own life fully. Here are a few thoughts from Marcy.

[Unidentified voice]:

As you settle into this new year, I hope you take a moment to consider the health of your business and how you can make certain it continues to thrive. Now is the perfect time for a business checkup. It's a perfect time to reflect on the systems and processes you had in place last year to determine what worked and what didn't run as smoothly as it should have. Write down the specific changes you'd like to implement to tighten things up over the next month, three months, six months, or a year. Give yourself realistic tasks and goals. This introspection and planning will go a long way toward making certain that 2014 is a year of great success. I'm Marci Booth. Let's talk about the changes you need. Boothmain.com

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

youm've gotta like a person who owns a business

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

called Beautiful Days and I think that

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

the people who hire this person, Kate

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Martin, who is the owner and creative

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

director at Beautiful Days, really find that

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

their days, specifically their wedding days, are

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

made more beautiful by having her around. So thanks for coming in and making our day beautiful. Kate.

Kate Martin:

Thanks. Happy to be here.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

When we were talking about doing our

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

show about weddings, which is sort of in homage to the wedding issue the Maine Magazine does every year, they said, you know, you really have to have Kate Martin in. She has got to be one of the best in the state. We have her represented in the magazine all the time and plus she just has this amazing energy.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

I suspect that you use that amazing

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

energy to try to create really wonderful experiences for your brides.

Kate Martin:

You need to always kind of be excited about what you're doing and embracing everyone's most special day. And I'm the first one to admit that sometimes you don't have that energy. So you can't be creative all the time. But my clients inspire me. Their stories inspire me. Our setting inspires me. So that really is what keeps me going. It's not necessarily about the wedding itself. It's about the people and where they're getting married. I love Maine. I love the spaces and places and people who work in Maine and how creative we can get and hopefully show that Maine weddings are fun and elegant and classy and flirty and everything all at once without being too contrived or too trendy.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

But you're not originally from Maine?

Kate Martin:

No, I grew up on Nantucket. My parents moved from New York City in 1971 when I was just about 3. Moved us to the beach, which is great. So I. One of the reasons why I love working in Maine, especially coastal Maine, is just my love of the ocean and the seaside and also just the architecture and the feeling of New England. And, you know, I'm a lover of all things New England and classical architecture, but also modern architecture as well. And I love being able to see kind of, especially in Portland, Maine, kind of the fusing of growing cities and traditional architecture. And so, yeah, growing up on the beach, I continue to be thankful every day for that life I was given and my appreciation for being by the ocean and living in New England and a good, healthy life.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Why did your parents originally decide to move from New York City to Nantucket? Did they share that with you?

Kate Martin:

I think that they went there shortly after they were married or just before they were married, just for a weekend, and they found love. They were both working in New York City. They both grew up around New York City and, you know, with it in their lives. But I think that they were just drawn to this funky little island, which at the time was just a bunch of kind of, you know, fishermen and funky folks. And I think they just fell in love, and I think that they thought that it would be a great place to raise a family, and they were right.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Is that similar to the reason why you ended up then kind of hopping from Nantucket to. I know you went elsewhere, but then came up to Maine?

Kate Martin:

Yeah. When my husband and I decided to kind of stick together, we moved out to California for a while, which was fantastic. We were in Marin county, working in San Francisco and just having a fantastic time. But as soon as we got out there, we knew that we would end up back east at some point. California, as fantastic as it was and as many opportunities as it had for us, it just didn't feel like home. And as soon as we Got to California, my dad would say, well, Kate, when you move back to New England. And my sister would say, when you come back, you should come check out Portsmouth, New Hampshire. So in our transition back, we started trying to sort out where we would land, knowing then that we were would like to buy a home and start our family. My husband has a connection with Bethel, Maine, and we just found the right place and we love being in Maine. My husband goes back, his family goes back generations into Maine. And I think that we had considered Nantucket, but we felt that that might be limiting for us. And I continue to be thankful about the choice that we made, especially now. It's been about 12 years and we really feel like we're part of our community and contributing both with our own businesses to, you know, offering people certain levels of service. And we're really happy with what we do. I mean, we're both self employed, so it has its challenges, to say the least, but we love it.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Kate, you shared with me a story

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

about your family that seemed sort of a foundational reason for having gone into the wedding business.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

You said you went through some very

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

difficult times with your parents who died when you were relatively young. And after that it seemed like every day was a beautiful day. You had been through this really hard, hard time with your siblings and you knew that life was pretty precious.

Kate Martin:

Yeah, in my early 30s, unfortunately, our family found ourselves challenged by the sudden illness of my mom and then shortly afterwards my father as well. And I truly believe that one of the reasons why I am here, just in general in the larger picture of here, was to kind of be there for my parents when they were going through these challenges and be there for my family. And then coming out of that, I learned so many positive lessons. And I attribute that to my parents and how they kind of related to us and our family about what was going on and how to move forward with it. Fortunately, my family, you know, we all love each other. You know, there's not. I'm the oldest of four and me and my siblings get along great. You know, I can't imagine my life without them. So I chose to look at these challenges as something as empowering instead of defeating. And something that for me, if I could go through what I went through with a certain level of grace, if there's such a thing, I don't, at least for me personally, and thoughtfulness and full of love that I could do just about anything, which I think helps keep things in perspective when I work in the wedding world. As fabulous as everybody's wedding day should be. And it is a beautiful day. No matter if it's an intimate party for 20 under a little tent out in a field or a big grand affair for 200. It's only one beautiful day out of many that that couple and that family are going to have as they grow up and grow old together and have children. And, I mean, the birth of my son was one of the most beautiful days I've ever had. And I love keeping up with my clients and seeing that they're having babies. And I write them a little note and say, see, here's another beautiful day for you. You know, and those beautiful days don't have to necessarily be big life events. They can just be those little captured moments of making the decision to not work at all and take a day off with your family and go skiing or sit in the house on a snow day and do puzzles instead of bills. I guess that's how I try and approach just my larger perspective and kind of what empowers me in what I do.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

What are some of the things that people come to you concerned about with regard to weddings? It seems as though everybody always says, well, you know, the wedding is the most important day of your life, which seems very singular. But it's really not just about the couple, as much as we would like to believe that it is.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

It's really about the couple and the

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

family and the community and the friends. So what are some of the things that you help people through?

Kate Martin:

Most of my clients are from away, so they are planning a wedding from New York, Boston, California, and everywhere in between. I think one of their challenges is trying to wrap their head around putting on a fabulous celebration when they can't be here on the ground, making sure everything's under control, or the mother of the bride can't be here. Or, you know, if they are, maybe they're here part time. I think for a lot of couples, that's challenging. And that's one of the reasons why I think they pick up the phone and track down someone like me to help them wrap their head around how can they produce and execute a fabulous celebration. I think another challenge is, especially for modern brides and grooms and mostly brides, is that they're so bombarded with images of gorgeous weddings happening all over the world that it gets a little overwhelming. And I think they start to think that they feel the pressure to kind of have it all. Which one of the first things I say is, you don't have to have it all. Let's focus on what's most important to you? Which is why I really like to get to know my clients first. I send them a little questionnaire and asks about. I ask about each. The bride and groom as individuals, the bride and groom as a couple, what they love to do, their perfect date night, their engagement story. And that just helps me kind of get a sense of really what's important to them. And I'll loop back with those little snippets and remind them down the line when they're maybe fretting over a certain detail or if they should do a menu versus a thank you card or something. And I'll loop back and I'll say, well, remember back when we first started working together, you really wanted to share pieces of you and to make sure that you let your guests know how thankful you were that they showed up. And, you know, we just try and loop back and remember what's really important. I'm all about the details. I'm all about getting the right color. I'm all about, if you want a little napkin wrap, we'll make it work, whatever you want it to be, but if it's not important to you, we don't have to do it. So it's just trying to kind of find that balance of what you truly want, what you truly want to reflect out of your day, how you truly want to bring together all your nearest and dearest and what you want to share with them, and also finding that balance in their. What they're spending too. You know, it's not just about what you want, but what you're budgeting for, too. I think some couples will quickly kind of say, oh, our ceremony will be about 20 minutes, and it'll be quick, and, you know, it'll be great. And I'll loop back and I'll remind them. Don't forget, that's why you're here. That's why you're having everyone get together for you is for that 20 minutes, for that 30 minutes. Regardless of how short it is, your ceremony really does need to be thoughtful. Whether you're being married by a friend who got ordained online or if it's in your family's church or whatever it is, make sure that you do invest thoughtfulness and care into it. Because you can have a party any day, but you only get married in one day.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

What do you do with families that are a little bit more complicated? Say the bride has a set of parents who are divorced, or say there's some family enmity. Just somebody doesn't want to sit next to somebody, and it threatens to kind of overshadow all of the joy and happiness of the day.

Kate Martin:

That definitely happens. It breaks my heart because it is amazing how sometimes little family emotions get stirred up and sometimes people get a little selfish and you just want to say it's about your bride and groom. You have to put aside those differences that maybe you had from 20 years ago. I'm 100% honest with my clients when I say you can use me as a buffer because the bride, especially, they're making decisions along with family members that not only are decisions about their day, but have emotional weight to them. And sometimes when a mom or an aunt, everyone who has every good intention behind it, gives an opinion and you may not agree with it, it may be hard to say no, because there's that emotional connection to it. And I have always told my clients, you can use me as this, you know, the quote unquote professional. Well, the person we're working with says this isn't really as important or we'll work it out because that comes from a non emotional connection. Even though I'm emotionally invested in all my clients. And you do sometimes act as a sounding board because there are issues that come up. There are seating issues. You wouldn't believe the family emotional politics that come up when you start assigning personal flowers, boutonnieres, corsages. If stepmothers are in the mix or someone's Dad's girlfriend for 20 years, do you give her a boutonniere, a corsage? So it is interesting. We do our best to navigate it. There's, you know, this stuff comes up and ideally I just, you know, kind of hold my client's hand and say, we'll get through it and whatever you want, I will stand up for you and I will say, this is what, you know, my bride wants and let's work together to make it happen.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

The goal of the Dr. Lisa Radio Hour is to help make connections between the health of the individual and the health of the community. The goal of Ted Carter Inspired Landscapes is to deepen our appreciation for the natural world. Here to speak with us today is Ted Carter.

[Unidentified voice]:

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Here to talk about the health of

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the body is Jim Greatorex of Premier Sports Health, a division of Black Bear Medical.

[Unidentified voice]:

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Dr. Lisa Belisle:

weddings that I went to was for one of the art directors at Brandco, which works with Maine Magazine and the Main Media Collective here and we were

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

standing in a field near I believe

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

it was in a canoe that was standing upright and then we went under

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

a tent and listened To a band,

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

but it was at a camp in the summer in Maine. And I'm seeing more and more this kind of desire to go back to simpler settings, simpler times, reminiscent of maybe growing up. Is this something that you're seeing? And why?

Kate Martin:

For a lot of brides and grooms, the appeal of Maine comes from summers spent at grandma's house on the coast, summer spent at camp. I've done a couple of camp weddings where. And actually they've been boys camps weddings where the groom went to the camp and had such a great connection. He may be from New York City, but he spent his summers in Maine and has such a great connection to that. And that feeling of kind of carelessness or kind of freedom of the summer and wanting to kind of share that with his bride and with their families. I think that there's a current trend towards wanting farm, barn. Everyone always loves being by the seaside. But, yeah, having something that feels more grounded, maybe, or easy, but that doesn't mean it can't be elegant. So Maine does offer so many fantastic venues to create something that is easy yet elegant, rustic, yet somewhat refined. It doesn't have to be all burlap and mason jars, which are great. You know, I think that trend is, you know, moving along. But I think that people are drawn to Maine for its classic architecture, for its feeling of kind of carefree summers at camps along the ocean. And some people are drawn to Maine because they're starting maybe a new family tradition. Maybe they live in Boston, New York, and they've started traveling up to Maine in the summertimes. And they say, this is some place we want to continue to come to when we want to bring our kids here. And let's get married. You know, let's start it now.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

It's February, and obviously February is the month that we associate with Valentine's Day and with love. And that's one of the words that we haven't really bandied about too much in this conversation. But how do you help the people that you are working with? How do you help them keep the love alive while they're planning their wedding? I know it seems like an interesting and ironic sort of thing that there might be so much stress that it could actually impact a relationship negatively. But I'm. But I'm wondering. I mean, we know that planning an event can be stressful.

Kate Martin:

I'm pretty realistic with my clients when they say, I just don't have the time for this right now, or is this really important? Or, you know, I'm working 80 hours a week and he's in business school and we're living in two different cities right now. And I'll always say, don't worry, we've got it. We're here for you. If something comes up, give us a call. You know, if you're just not sure about what invite to choose and you're having a hard time and you're not getting the feedback you want, just send it to us. We'll give you our honest opinion. We'll do our best to keep you grounded about what's important. And this kind of goes back to us getting to know our clients early on and reminding them about what's important. So if there's kind of concern over if you want this fabulous dessert table, you may opt for DJ so you have a little bit of your budget left over. And then I'll kind of remind them, just say, hey, step back, take a deep breath, we'll figure this out. Tell me what I can do for you. And I tell them that I know that they're busy and one of the first things I say to prospective clients is that I just continue to be amazed at how accomplished and driven and smart so many of my clients are. And I recognize that they're super busy. So I try and keep it real, try and keep things in perspective and just kind of try and move it along and remind them about really what's most important. And probably fussing over how to word a menu isn't worth fussing over. Let's work it out, let's figure it out right now, move forward because there's going to be other decisions to be made down the line that you may end up fussing over.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Kate, how do people find out about your business? Beautiful days

Kate Martin:

word of mouth I find is a great. The fabulous vendors that I've had the privilege to work alongside of now going into our 10th year, which I just can't believe, it kind of blows me away. Word of mouth, I get really fabulous referrals from some great vendors. Social media I think is becoming a really big piece of it. A little bit of advertising here and there. I always get great responses from being in Maine Magazine, I will be honest. And at this point, word of mouth, it's been an interesting evolution of kind of trying to sort this out because when we started it was basically having a website and putting ads in select magazines or papers. Everything has evolved so quickly between Facebook and social media and Twitter and blogs. Just in the years I've been doing this that as a self employed business owner, the amount of work you have to put into this additional level of marketing is pretty intense, but we make it work. I mean you got to grow at the time so and also Google, you know they search for me. Hopefully Beautiful Days pops up and and Your website is beautifuldaysevents.com We've been speaking

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

with Kate Martin, who is the owner and Creative Director of Beautiful Days.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

We thank you for coming in and

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

speaking with us today about creating the

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

beautiful days that you do.

Kate Martin:

Thanks. It's been fun.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

You have been listening to the Dr. Lisa Radio RM podcast show number 125, Celebrating Love. Our guests have included Leslie Oster and Kate Martin. For more information on our guests and extended interviews, visit doctor. Org. The Dr. Lisa Radio Hour and Podcast is downloadable for free on itunes. For a preview of each week's show, sign up for our e newsletter and like our Dr. Lisa Facebook page. Follow, Follow me on Twitter and Pinterest and read my take on health and well being on the Bountiful Blog. We love to hear from you, so please let us know what you think of the Dr. Lisa Radio Hour. We welcome your suggestions for future shows. Also let our sponsors know that you have heard about them here. We are privileged that they enable us to bring the Dr. Lisa Radio Hour to you each week. This is Dr. Lisa Belisle. We hope that you have enjoyed our Celebrating Love Show. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your day. May you have a bountiful life.