Donna Dwyer

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Donna Dwyer is the CEO of the My Place Teen Center, a youth development program based in Westbrook. Thanks for coming in.

Donna Dwyer:

Thank you. Excited to be here?

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Well, we're excited to have you. You are doing some very important work at the My Place Teen Center.

Donna Dwyer:

We are. It's integral work, it's hard work, it's gritty work, and it's hard work. And the work that we're doing is we're working with kids ages 10 to 18. They can come from anywhere in Maine. As long as they can get through our red doors, they can come. And basically the kids will even tell you this, which is a little astonishing in its truth. But they come there to be safe and we feed them, we take care of them for five hours a day, every day of the week after school through the summertime. And it's a academic excellence and character development life skills program.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

When did you decide that you wanted to work in this area? Because this is a. This is a gritty area. This is not an easy area you could have chosen. I mean, you have lots of nonprofit and for profit leadership experience. Why did you pick this one?

Donna Dwyer:

Well, I really didn't. I was lured into it and compelled. And that's a story that I would like to share as to why I am so honored to do this job. I was looking for executive director jobs back in 2011, the winter of 2011, and this was one of them. And I thought, oh, well, I'll apply for it. But I don't think this will be challenging enough for me. So I went on the interviews and the interviews kept on happening and they kept on whittling down the candidates and whatnot. And I was looking at other jobs as well that were nonprofit, but much more business oriented type of acumen that was required. But then the final layer of interviews actually were with the kids. So if you can imagine for a moment, I'm walking into this building, it's a former United Methodist church on Main street in Westbrook. The outside and the inside was completely dilapidated, falling in on itself. The 17 couches that they had there were all falling apart. It was dirty. This at that Time was a 13 year old organization. And the organization was on its last legs, frankly. So when I walked into the building, I thought, this is going to take such effort to be a change agent for this organization. Do I really want to put the physical exertion, much less the intellectual, intellectual exertion into this organization? But then this interview came and there was a young woman named Cassie who led the process. And she was the ringleader of all these kids. Seven, she's 17 years old. There are about 25 kids sitting on these broken down couches. I sat down on this couch where a spring was sticking out of it, and they start asking me questions. And the questions were, are you going to be mean? Will you still take us on field trips? What kind of a person are you anyway? And so I answered those questions and I just found them to be so intriguing. And then Cassie asked this question with this blonde hair, dimples, blue eyes. And she said these words to me, do you have the skill set to keep the doors open so that my brother coming up behind me will still be able to come? And when she asked me, do I have the skill set, I thought, wow, this girl has it going on. So I told her I did have the skill set. And. And then when I found out who she really was, that at 17, she had been homeless since she was 13. She was a child of parents who are substance users. She frequently ran out of clothing because her mother would sell her clothing for drugs. That food was an issue. And on that first day when I got to know her, I noticed that despite her smile and her gleeful ways and the way she conducted herself, her hands were tremoring the entire time. And that was from anxiety because Cassie carried a backpack with her. And in that backpack was her life belongings. So most kids carry their L.L. bean backpack with school books, their lunch. Cassie carries her backpack with her belongings in it. And so when I left that interview, I never had such a strong reaction, but I said to myself, I must have this job. Please give me this job. And thankfully they did.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

What were you doing before? What was the thing that led you to the place where you were looking for a new position?

Donna Dwyer:

My passion for a long time has been kids with disabilities. But I took a brief break. I have a child with a disability, so obviously my heart tugs at that population. But I took a brief break and went to graduate school and got three graduate degrees, one of them being an mba. And during the MBA process, we learned from entrepreneurs who always told us to follow your passion. Well, my passion is tennis. And I play tennis six or seven days a week. I have to play tennis physically and emotionally. I have to play tennis just like you probably have to run. And so I thought to myself, well, tennis is my passion. I have a good mind for business. I'm going to put together a multi sport athletic club. So during this MBA process, this was for four years, I put together a business plan working on a 48 million dollar 150,000 square foot, multi purpose, multi sport athletic club to be housed in Scarborough. Then what happened? In 2008, the market crashed. And so we continued to work on this business model for a couple more years. But because of the largesse of this project, I couldn't get it off the ground past the second seat of funding. So then I thought, well, I'm going to go back to my love, which is social services. I know that area, I can do a good job in that area and I think I can make a difference. And that's what led me to my place teen center, Cassy and my place teen center.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

I think I need to back up a little bit. You have three graduate degrees.

Donna Dwyer:

Yes, because I got them mostly all for free, so why not keep going? So I started at USM to get a special ed degree, a master's in special ed, so that I could be a better mother. Frankly, when my son was born, I didn't have the skill set to be the parent of a child with a disability. He had significant health needs, significant cognitive needs, and I wasn't prepared. When he turned 4, I decided, I'm going to go back to school and see if I can make a difference. And I knew that advocacy was going to be a huge part of his development and I needed to step up to the plate. So I thought, well, I can't. I don't think I have the time to go be a medical doctor, go back to school for that. So I thought, what also would impact him and his schooling would impact him. So I thought, I need to learn the same skill set that the teachers and the administrators need to learn. So from that vantage point, I went to get my special ed degree and then I got an administration degree because I wanted to know what it was like to be a principal again. Never in real practice, never real theory, never wanted to be a teacher, just wanted to be a better mother. And then I started to work in the field, an advocate in the field. And then I thought, well, at some point soon, I know that my natural inclination is to be a leader. How can I be a better leader? I better go get an mba. And so what happened was I would work, I worked at the school, so I got my classes for free, and then I got a huge scholarship. So for three master's degrees, I paid $600. So that's why I kept on going.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

I mean, that just isn't. That's amazing. I mean, well, $600, that's also amazing. But you were a mother of a child with a disability, which is enormously time consuming from my understanding. And yet. And you were working and you said, oh, I think I just want to get some more education.

Donna Dwyer:

I felt I've always been compelled to be the best that I can be. And I knew that to be the best mother I could be, I had to be a better mother. And that's, that's the path that I chose to give me the confidence to do what was right for him. And also, being an adult learner is amazing and awesome and I loved every minute of it. It was hard, especially the mba. I was a fish out of the water. I was sitting in the classroom with engineers and accountants and I really don't have that type of mind. But the challenge in of itself was part of the work. Just the challenge was part of the growth.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Tell me about the My Place Teen Center. What types of things do you work with on a day to day basis?

Donna Dwyer:

So first and foremost, we serve kids. And that is such a simple word. Okay, you serve kids, but they're very complex and intricate and especially the middle school level where there's the executive functioning in their brain isn't fully formed. Their decision making can either take them one way or the other. And this particular population that we're working with, they are surrounded by a daily lexicon probably which you and I were never surrounded with growing up in their lexicon. My dad's in the jail, My mother had a needle sticking out of her arm. We don't have enough food in the cupboards, I don't know where I'm going to sleep. I don't have a bed, I don't have winter boots, I don't have a coat. This is their daily existence. So if they're first dealing with themselves as a kid, trying to blossom or just trying to survive, and then they are dealing with these trauma related behaviors, incidences, worrying about their own parents, and in some instances being a parent in the home, they have a choice. And the choice is so perilous and close to one another that they can go on the path like their past, like their present, like what they're surrounded with, or they can be given the courage and nurtured by the grit and instilled the accountability to be able to go on a different path. And so our levels of success with our kids take many shapes and sizes and forms. The most obvious is you want the kids to graduate first of all and then you want them to go on to higher education or the army or get a job. But some of our kids are living in such a state of perilousness that their level of success, for example, is a guy, a young man we've been following since he was 13 years old. We're a 20 year old organization. He's now 28. And for him he has significant anxiety, he had significant learning disabilities, and he lived with a mom who has severe mental health issues. So from a very young age, they worried about heat in their home. Think about several weeks ago when we had that negative 14, negative 15. They worried about heat in their home. And so here's this guy who did end up graduating high school. His claim to fame that he's very, very proud of, and we're proud of him, is he is the lead salad bar manager for Ruby Tuesdays. Yet here's what else we know about him. He's never been on government assistance. He doesn't want it, he doesn't need it. He wants to earn his own way. He provides for his mother. And last winter on one of his shifts when he came home from work, he found her with a cord around her neck. So she went into P6 for several months and he's still working at Ruby Tuesdays. He takes his mother, she's out of there now. She's stable. But here's this guy who struggled in school, has his own anxiety, he's taking care of his mom, and he's a contributing member of our community and society. That's his success story.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

How do you help people to choose a different path? Because the draw of the familiar is so strong, the patterning that they experienced is so significant in their young lives that to go in a different direction requires an enormous amount of strength and probably a lot of help.

Donna Dwyer:

Yes. And it's relentless and it's never ending. So deliberately we have set up our physical environment to mimic a home. From the moment you step on our property, there's a white picket fence in the spring, summer and fall. There are beautiful gardens surrounding the building. There's an American flag waving and there are beckoning doors for them to come through. We've decorated unlike any other teen center I've ever seen. We decorate it with art, with knickknacks, with comfortable furniture, a living room type feel. We also provide dinners to them every day so they can eat and get a really good nutritious full meal every single day. So that's one way that we do it. Then we treat them with a lot of love. And our philosophy is love first in all instances and firm when we need to be like parents. And the third way is through sheer will and determination is that we give these kids lots and lots and lots of chances because we all make lots of mistakes and these kids are no different. And so we meet them where they're at. That's a kind of a trite saying. A lot of people say that we meet people where they're at. But if you're meeting them when they're the most raw, they're the most vulnerable, they're the most gritty, and they're the most opportunity for resilience to be immersed in them, we are compelled, it is our passion to make a difference in these kids lives. Our heart calls to them.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

You grew up in Cape Elizabeth.

Donna Dwyer:

Yes.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

And that is known to be probably one of the more financially, economically advantaged communities in the state of Maine.

Donna Dwyer:

Yes.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

And yet there are people who live in Cape Elizabeth who don't have as much as other people do.

Donna Dwyer:

Yes.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Your organization is based in Westbrook.

Donna Dwyer:

Yes.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

And it has a very different demographic.

Donna Dwyer:

Correct.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

And this is a kind of a theoretical question, but how would somebody from Cape Elizabeth who had needs access the type of programming that you offer in

Donna Dwyer:

Westbrook, meaning if a kid from Cape Elizabeth wanted to come. Yes, they can come. So if they can get transportation to come there, they can come. Do they come? No, they don't come. Kids from Cape typically do not come. Falmouth do not come. South Portland comes, Portland comes, Gorham comes, Danish comes, Certainly Westbrook comes. So our barriers, there are none, except you have to be a kid to come through our doors. But any kid from anywhere can come. What you're seeing is, and I've gone to present up in Falmouth to the Rotary a couple of times. That's 10 minutes away from us. And I've said to them, and it was at dinner time when I presented at their meeting, and I said to them, you know, 10 minutes from these doors, 10 minutes from here are kids, 35, 40 kids right now eating dinner that would not be eating. So when I see, when you go to meetings, there's always spreads of foods or events. There's spreads of food. And I always think to myself, I don't take this food for granted. I don't take this spread for granted because I know that my kids don't have access to that unless they come to us. So I will say this, though. What I know for sure is that all kids, it doesn't matter from where you're from, are at risk. Because if you don't have an appropriate adult role model in your life, it doesn't matter how much money you have or you don't have, if you don't have an appropriate adult role model that can be that beacon, that harbinger of hope, then you are at risk. And so kids who come from impoverished backgrounds can have an appropriate parent in their life, an appropriate adult role model. The wealth doesn't make or break whether or not a kid, and I know you know this, whether or not they have success, do they have opportunity and access to a lot more advantages? Yes. Do they maybe take, take advantage or feel like maybe there's not the same level of gratitude that maybe the kids that come through the teen center doors versus kids who get it to hand it to them on a silver platter. So there's definitely that can be a barrier. And our kids notice that. They notice other kids clothes, they notice that other families sit down to dinner, but theirs don't. They notice those things, and it matters to them.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

If you are a kid that needs this sort of help, but you live in a community where, for whatever reason, Falmouth or Cape Elizabeth or Yarmouth or Cumberland, there's just some reason why you're not going for help, what is it that those of us around you can be doing? Does this question make sense?

Donna Dwyer:

Yes, it does. So we have caregivers, other providers, specifically kids with disabilities that will bring autism or maybe some mental health issues that will actually bring our kids. There's two kids coming from Gray on a regular basis that will bring kids through our doors, but just a kid who's feeling a little lost. Maybe not connected in an extracurricular way or some peer group, a healthy peer group. I think it's up to the adults, the guidance counselors, social workers, the parents to say, hey, there's a safe place after school. They keep the kids busy. The kids may not know that we are imbuing them with character development and life skills, but we certainly are. And. And so I think it's up to the adults surrounding this kid, whether it be a school adult or parent adult, to know the resources in the community. And for us, I said, we're not just for Westbrook. We are for any kid from any community anywhere, at any time.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Do you think that the challenges for children in this age group are different now than they once were?

Donna Dwyer:

I do, and I think it's different even in the six years that I've been with the center. And how it's different, truly, I think, is that the level of poverty is getting deeper. And I think that the opioid epidemic is prevalent, pervasive, poisonous, and has a ripple effect on so many levels. And I notice a change in my kids, not the ones that we've had for a while now, but the ones that are coming through the doors where there's almost a sense of feralness to them, that the level of desperation and the level of need that that is available. Earlier in the summer, we had a field day where we invited families and the kids, and we were just out cookout and whatnot. And, you know, given this group, for a number of reasons, parents aren't often involved. The kids don't want them there. Maybe the parents don't want to be involved. So there's a variety of reasons. I mean, this is the age group. Did you want your parents around when you were, you know, in middle school or high school? No, you really didn't. And so these kids feel the same way. But I got to meet some. Some of the families, and there were some of the parents that came, and they were high. They were high in the middle of the day, and they. We had extra food. And not only were they eating that food, which was absolutely appropriate, but they wanted to take that food home with them, which was fine as well. But I got to see these parents in the state that the kids live with, high, day in and day out. And it reminded me why these kids are the way they are and what we have to do to change their paradigm, which is everything we can do.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

What keeps you going? Because this is not an easy job. And the word grit has been Used a few times. It's a difficult situation sometimes. I'm sure you don't have the successes you'd like to have. So what keeps you showing up for work every day and investing in these children?

Donna Dwyer:

I think I was raised with a work ethic which was different from a lot of my Cape Elizabeth friends and peers. My parents instill a work ethic from a very young age. Weekends were not for watching cartoons or sleepovers. We worked, we worked cleaning and for my grandmother and just we constantly worked. So work ethic and a discipline was instilled in us from an early age. So I had that inherent within me. This is heart work because you're not in this to make the big bucks. You're in this to change lives and in some instances save lives. And so when that is presented in front of you, there really is no choice except to keep moving forward and to keep working it. And even when mistakes are made, to never give up. And so that is the discipline that we apply to ourselves is, and, and to keep us going and motivated that no matter what, to keep going. Because even the organization itself is a successful, thriving organization. We've really done a lot of really hard work in the past six years to change everything about the organization. But we also live the organization lives hand to mouth too. Funding is, is incredibly arduous for us and very fickle. And we're always relying on the benevolence of others to change kids lives, to save lives. And believe it or not, a lot of people say no to us. And so getting through that is the resilience that's required of my team and myself is to have the resilience that even when you say no to me, you are going to say yes to me. At some point I will knock down a brick wall. No means yes in my world, in my lexicon. And at some point I will get a yes out of you. You will say yes to these kids. So that's, that's the resilience that I require of myself and my staff. And then I play tennis. I play tennis six or seven days a week. And I'm a competitive tennis player. I captain teams, I compete. And that keeps me in this job and in this life and having my own chutzpah to make a difference.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Well, I appreciate the work that you're doing and the work that everybody at the My Place Teen center is doing. And I encourage people to learn more about My Place and consider donating because if you don't, Donna will find you and she will tell you more about her organization and you will be convinced. I'm certain of it.

Donna Dwyer:

Thank you. Lisa.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

I appreciate you coming in today. I've been speaking with Donna Dwyer, who is the CEO of the My Place Teen Center, a youth development program based in Westbrook. Thank you so much for all you do.

Donna Dwyer:

We are thrilled and thank you so much for the opportunity.