Ekhlas Ahmed, Darfur Youth of Tomorrow

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Eklis Ahmed is the vice president and co founder of Darfur Youth of Tomorrow, an organization raising awareness in her community of the violence and needs of Darfur. She is also a writer and now working on a book called Bridge An Autobiography in Poetic form to share her experience and raise awareness about Sudan. Thank you so much for coming in today.

Ekhlas Ahmed:

Thank you for having me.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

We were speaking with Gary Lawless, who first of all says to say hi, hi. And he's a big fan of yours. He really likes your poetry.

Ekhlas Ahmed:

Thank you so much.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

How did you start writing poetry?

Ekhlas Ahmed:

I started writing poetry when I was a sophomore in high school, mainly because I was voiceless. I would say I was going through a lot in my life, adjusting in the United States from coming from Sudan, Darfur, not being able to speak English, not having a sister in the house. I have three brothers and I don't have a sister. So I kept a lot of my emotions to myself. And one day I was just in my room and picked up a pen and I started writing. And at the beginning it didn't make any sense, but it really helped in terms of feeling better, just taking all of my stress and putting it in a piece of paper.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

You have an interesting story that has gained some national attention. It was a really great spot that I saw you on initially with Ellen DeGeneres on the Ellen show, and there was a lot of clapping and cheering and maybe a little crying on your part.

Ekhlas Ahmed:

A lot, a lot of crying.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

A lot of crying because she recognized that the work that you had done to put yourself through college. And she paid off $22,000 worth of college debt. I know, which is really amazing. But the more amazing thing, I think, is that you incorporated her show. And first of all, it's positivity, but also it's English to better learn the language.

Ekhlas Ahmed:

Yep, it is.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

So talk to me about that.

Ekhlas Ahmed:

Yeah, it was learning the English and also learning about the American culture and also learning about how to be a decent human or a good human. Like, that's what Ellen is for me. She has been an inspiration since the first time I watched her show. Obviously not even being able to understand anything. But the way she came off on TV and constantly smiling and constantly dancing, which is something I love to do since I was really young. And it's something that we did a lot in my community back home in Sudan. So I related to her right away. And she just gave me good vibes, as we say. She gave me the good vibes. And I never stopped watching her show, and I still do until today because it's so positive. And it brings me out of the place where I was in at the time when I was really sad and homesick and just needed a place where I felt comfortable. And watching her show did that for me.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

How old were you when you came to the United States?

Ekhlas Ahmed:

I was about 12 years old.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

And did you directly come to Maine?

Ekhlas Ahmed:

I did, directly. Our flight was from Cairo to JFK and then JFK to Portland, Maine.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

That's a pretty big culture shock, I would think.

Ekhlas Ahmed:

For sure. For sure. It is still is a cultural shock. And we've been here since 2006, but we're learning, trying to find ways to adjust. For sure.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Do you think that you talked about having no sisters, only brothers in your house? Do you think that it is often easier to share things with other women, or was this just in your family?

Ekhlas Ahmed:

Yeah, I think it's just in my family, but also in my culture. And I think because back home, I used to have cousins even when I didn't have a sister. So we spent most of our time together. And if there was something going on, it would be easy to relate to my struggles and the things that I was facing as a female with my cousins, then my brothers. Plus, my brothers are younger than me, so I didn't want to put any of my issues onto my younger siblings. So that's, I think, why it was really difficult because the age and also because. Just a cultural thing, I guess, or a family thing. In our family, we. We kind of tend to have the boys hang out with the boys and the girls hang out unless there is something major.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

So that's interesting. You also had the responsibility in some ways of your younger brothers when you came over here. So you probably, I mean, I'm the oldest of 10 children and I know that I wanted to always make things good for my younger brothers and sisters. Did you feel the same way?

Ekhlas Ahmed:

Of course. Of course. And I still do the same. I feel the same way. And I think my, my energy and my strive to success, it's my siblings and being the oldest child, I want to pave the way for them. I want to give, set an example. I want to be their role model because they don't need to look somewhere else. They can look right in their family, right in their, you know, in a media family and they can see their sister is doing great things and therefore they have the motivation and the courage to continue. So. So I did feel like that since I was very young. I mean, my mom gave me a lot of responsibilities since I was 10 and cooking, cleaning and making sure that doing things that united the family. And I've been doing that ever since. And mostly it's for my brothers and sometimes it's annoying for sure, but for the most part I see how my efforts are appreciated and how it helps them to grow and have a positive guest role model in the family.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

It's been important for you to find your own voice personally, but also to share the stories of Darfur and Sudan. What is it that you would like people to know about what's going on over there?

Ekhlas Ahmed:

I mean, what's going on in Darfur is something that have been talked about for a long time. There is a genocide happening in Darfur, but no one is taking action. There's a lot of innocent civilians who are humans and deserve attention and deserve the world, all of us in the world and the international community to pay attention to what's going on. Because we said that whenever there is a genocide or whenever there is something that is inhumane, we would speak up for those who are incapable. So that's what I have been doing in raising awareness and telling people exactly what is going on. Because they don't see that in the media. It's not a lot of coverage that is happening. And honestly, we don't even know how this genocide started or for what causes. But to me, that is not what I care about. I just care about saving those innocent civilians and people that I consider my role models and consider like my mothers to me. And I want to do Whatever I can, since I am in a safe place and I'm capable of speaking up, to use my voice to speak up on behalf of them.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Why do you think we have not been paying enough attention? What is it that is causing us to somehow look away for sure, because

Ekhlas Ahmed:

as I said, there is not enough media coverage to tell you exactly what's happening in Darfur. But also because when a lot of people tend to when they're safe and they're happy and they don't feel like they're targeted, it's okay to avoid what's happening outside of your home and to look away. So it's easy. And nobody wants to get involved because they think it couldn't happen to them, it couldn't happen to their own family, it couldn't happen to their own country. And. And we thought the same thing. Nobody thought in Darfur that anything could happen in our region. But no, matter of fact, anything is possible. In a matter of seconds, the genocide could start anywhere in the world for no unknown reason. Yeah.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

How was your family able to get out?

Ekhlas Ahmed:

Well, my family, my immediate family lived in Khartoum. They didn't initially live in Darfur at the time when the genocide started. So for us, it was really simple. And it was my parents who made the decision, since we were really young, to get tickets and to fly and to find the nearest UN office, the United nations building, so that we could apply for asylum. And that's what my parents did. Went to Cairo, Egypt, and did a case on seeking asylum. And we were resettled after two years, resettled into the US So somehow your

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

family was able to get out of a dangerous situation. But not every family is.

Ekhlas Ahmed:

Exactly. And not every family is. And even those like us who are in the diaspora, it's not just because we are in the genocide. We didn't see it and we didn't physically actually experience it. It doesn't mean that we are safe. I still feel like I'm not safe. I still. Because my family, my other family members are not safe. And where actually my roots and my grandfather and grandmother grew up, I'm not able to see that ever again because of what's going on. So I still feel all the trauma, the violence. It's a constant nightmare for me as well. Regardless of where I am in the world. And if this genocide still continues, I think that's how I will still. Those feelings will still remain.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

It must have been hard to have this very dramatic change in your life when you were 12, to come to not only a new country, but a very different state, a very different city. And just have to deal with that in a new language and a new set of cultures and new friends. And then also know that this very big thing is still happening back where you're from.

Ekhlas Ahmed:

Yeah.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

So how, as a 12 year old, how did you deal with that?

Ekhlas Ahmed:

Yeah, it wasn't easy and I'm still finding ways to cope with that. But as I said earlier, it was poetry that I still go and stress and put all of my anger and happiness and my things that I remember from home, all of the memories that I have, I still write those down. And what helps me is when I call home, that's something that I love to do on constant basis. Call my grandmother, call my cousins, call my friends that I went to school with. Those memories bring me joy and give me hope that and give me motivation to continue working. The job that I'm doing here in the US Whether it's working with youth or if it's activism, all of those things happen because I call home and I hear the voices of people that I love so much and give me hope for a better future.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

You finished college at the University of Southern Maine, still a student, and you're still a student. You're getting your master's degree now and you've become a teacher. So you're still living with your own past, but now you are a role model for other students. So that's also an interesting balance point.

Ekhlas Ahmed:

Yeah, for sure. I do. I started my, I guess my career in education because of the opportunity that came from the AmeriCorps program. It's a very wonderful program. And right after I finished college, it just came out of nowhere and I took it. I'm one of those people who never let any opportunities pass me by. So when I heard about the AmeriCorps program, I signed up right away. Took me a couple of minutes to sign up and I think within a week I was hired to work as an educator here in the Portland area. And somehow my host side job was Casco Bay High School, where I went to school, which was so refreshing and I felt so comfortable because I knew that I was going home. Like Cusco Bay is home for me. It's comfort, it's people that I know. I didn't hesitate, although I had goosebumps and butterflies, of course, as, you know, as someone who was starting something new. But I knew that I had support. I knew that I had teachers who would support me and help me and guide me in any way that they could. And that's what they did. And I just finished my two year term with AmeriCorps, which was sad, but also so exciting because I'm so ready for the next chapter in my life and being able to finish grad school and continue on into a different path in life.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

From what I understand, you are one of the first alumni to return to Casco Bay High School. Casco Bay High School is actually not very old. It's a relatively new school and there's a big focus on experiential learning. How did that help you in particular as you were trying to gain your own education as a high schooler?

Ekhlas Ahmed:

Yeah, it was really refreshing. I mean, when I was in Sudan, I went to a traditional school for my middle school. It was really traditional. And we always had our teachers who were of course, in front of the classroom, you know, lecturing away, just waiting for answers, regardless of where they came from, not knowing if we actually understood anything, never providing opportunity to actually critically think or think in our own or go outside to see how actually education is related into so many other things. So I know that I was at a disfanish when I was in Sudan because I was never in a place where I felt like I was actually learning. And Casco Bay High School is where my education happened in the US where it began. And from the first week, like even my teachers, I was an ELL student. But. But that didn't matter. I was still with the other students, mainstream students, in all of their classes. And then when it came to English class, I would be with the ELL students. But even within our ELL classes, our teachers were not lecturing. They were actually giving us tools and giving us activities that helped us think in our own, be our own individual person. And that's what is happening at Cusco Bay High School until today. Giving students a chance to learn and to also find things on their own. Not to just depend on a textbook, but to depend on everything. To depend on working together as a collective group, working together as an individual, working together as a community and knowing how to build a community, because essentially that is very important. And I really love that a lot. And I'm trying to take all of those positive things that I've learned from CBHS and to hold it very close and dear to me so I can share it with my siblings or with other students that I might come across.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

How did you end up at Casco Bay High School in the first place?

Ekhlas Ahmed:

Yeah, I was just saying that in the AmeriCorps program when I first applied they were. They said that here in the Portland area, this is where I would be working. And they decided that Casco Bay High School would be the right fit for me. So it wasn't something that I chose, but it was a gift for me, I guess.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

And when you originally went there as a student, it's one of the. You don't get assigned there automatically. It's something that you actually have to choose. Is that right?

Ekhlas Ahmed:

Yes, it's true. It's something that I chose. And it was one of the mentors that I met when I first came to the U.S. his name is Mr. Owees. He's originally from Somalia. And he was talking to me, talking about the different options. Casco Bay, Portland High School, or Deering. And he gave me all of the information about those schools, and he said, you should go to Casco Bay because it's a new school. You will not have a lot of friends, and that's going to push you to speak more English and help you better, you know, just get acclimated to the new culture and the new environment. And I was like, no way. I want to go to Portland because there's a lot of Arabic speakers, and I want to make sure that I maintain my language. And he's like, you're never going to learn English if you go to Portland because there is a huge population of Arabic speakers, and they tend to get together and they tend to speak Arabic. So eventually I listened to his. His advice, and I did go to Kasko Bay because of his advice and how he helped me make that decision.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

What did your parents think of that idea to go from possibly Portland High School, where you would have a group of friends, to a completely different high school where you would have to be more intense, independent.

Ekhlas Ahmed:

Yeah. I don't think my parents had any idea about the schools even, so they didn't mind, and they trusted Mr. Abiz. They knew him from the community, and they saw him at the local mosque. So his advice was already. Okay, listen to Mr. Abiz. There was no questions about it because they trusted him. Yeah. So. And they didn't have a lot of knowledge about the other schools in the area. Since we were new to Portland.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

What has it been like to be Muslim in Portland? I know that we have more and more people who are, but it's still not a big group of people who are even now.

Ekhlas Ahmed:

Yeah. At the beginning, I think I would say because I was young and I didn't know how to speak the truth or advocate for myself in terms of being Muslim, but Now that I've grown up and understand even the Islamic religion even more, I feel more confident and I feel safe practicing Islam anywhere in the world, especially in Portland, Maine, because I know that my religion is very peaceful and it brings a lot of joy and peace and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. So people that don't know what Islam is or don't know a lot about Muslim people just don't know what the actual religion is. And that's what I always try to find. Someone that I actually just want to know and want to hear about actually and listen to a Muslim, rather than getting their information from media or from just stereotypes, basically. So I don't. And I have a lot of friends here that have a lot of support, especially people that are not even Muslim, who give me a comfort place where I can practice and be with them and feel normal, which is great.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Tell me about working on this book.

Ekhlas Ahmed:

Yes.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

What has that been like for you?

Ekhlas Ahmed:

It's been really fun, as I said. I mean, I think poetry is something that runs in my blood now and I love writing. So I wanted to, originally I wanted to just write it to keep it to myself. Like I wanted to write this book and keep it to myself because I want to go back and read it over and over again and just remember even how it was when I first came here. Because some of the poetry is about the beginning of being lost and being in a new environment. So I wanted to revisit that. And then one of my teachers, I was writing a poem one day and she came and she was like, this is amazing. I want to keep reading this and you should totally put it on a book somewhere because I would buy it. And that's where the idea came from. Mostly because I wanted to share it with people that have supported me and helped me to see where my mindset, where my mindset was like my English teachers, and to see my improvement in my writing. Because at the beginning I started just with alphabets and here I am writing a 10 page paper or like a five page poem. And it's all because of their effort. It's all because of their hard work and because of their trust in me as a student and knowing that eventually I will get to this point. So writing it has been really fun and it's been, like I was saying, very stress free zone for me. And I bring out all of the energy about exactly being a Muslim in Maine and how that has even made me stronger person or how being a daughter at home, how is that have made me a different and a stronger person. And how being a student and the first, you know, first generation graduate from college, how does that make me feel? All of those things that are happening in my life, putting it somewhere that I can go back one day and relive my life all over again just by reading texts.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

What type of comments have you gotten from other young people who have perhaps sought asylum themselves, have maybe come to the United States because they were leaving places of genocide or violence? Do you find that you've been considered a role model? Do people give you feedback that's positive or.

Ekhlas Ahmed:

Yeah, I've gotten. I've always been getting positive feedback. And it is really amazing because it gives me more motivation to even do bigger and better things. And it is true when I was growing up and until even this day, maybe very recently, where I finally found people that I call role models, people that look like me that are from the African continent, people that have started from just the Alphabet to now being English teachers or being lawyers or being, you know, policewomen, like all of that, I can just say that recently I've found maybe one or two people that are role models that are just like me. And that's what I want to do for this younger generation. And when I hear that, oh, eclipse, you are my role model because of this, it brings a lot of joy. And I'm so happy because that's what they need. Things that I wasn't able to have when I was their age. Now they can say, okay, I have someone to look up to, and that's great. And I hope that it gives them whatever they need to keep going. I guess from my story, if it's just being a motivational person or giving them hope or whatever it is, I hope that they're getting it so that they could find their success in their own life.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

I appreciate your coming in and talking with me today and also for being one of our Maine Live speakers, which is very exciting for me as the host of ME Live. It's my fifth time, and having, having working with people like you who are willing to share their stories is really a blessing for me. So thank you for doing that.

Ekhlas Ahmed:

Thank you so much.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

I've been speaking with Eklis Ahmed, who is the vice president and co founder of Darfur Youth of Tomorrow and is also currently writing an autobiography in poetic form to share her experience and raise awareness about Sudan. Thank you for coming. Coming in today.