Life’s Design, #80

David Cedrone:

You think you're taking your life and you're going in one direction and then big significant changes, good or bad, come into your life and all of a sudden you find yourself going in this other direction. It's almost like working with a blank canvas where you go in thinking that your piece is going to be one way and magically inspired you come up with this whole new creation. That's what life is. That's what life is like. I actually personally think that some of my favorite artists don't even produce art. It's how they live their life, it's what they've gotten handed and what they choose to do with their time and what they choose to do with their life.

William Foley:

When I let go and stopped trying so hard, stepped away from the doing of my life and moved into the being, I noticed my life started getting better and better and better and I developed a trust in the experience of a so called surrender to my life and I developed a deep sense of gratitude in that the Dr. Lisa radio

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

This is Dr. Lisa Belisle and you are listening to the Dr. Lisa Radio Hour and podcast show number 80, Life's Design, airing for the first time on March 24, 2013. Few lives proceed as planned when we lean into our shortcomings, accepting and celebrating what we have been given, we find riches where we might least expect them. Main artist David Sidroni and and Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor William Foley share their experiences with the blessings to be found in life's detours Today I walked by the Royal river on a path through a tiny private estuary. It is a path I have been on many times previously. The way was muddy and rutted with footprints of dogs, humans and an occasional deer marking the late season snow. I kept my head down, paying attention to where my feet would land upon the soft earth. Coming around to bend, I was surprised to see that the landscape had changed entirely from my last visit. A broad swath of trees had been cleared and underbrush cut away. The river, once obscured, was now plainly in sight. Never having realized that it was so close, I hadn't been aware that the view had been lacking. It is often the case that we don't know what we cannot see until things have been cleared away from our line of sight. We may not even realize that our line of sight is being infringed upon, even though we ourselves may have created the obstacles that block it. Artist David Sidroni was a talented young Portlander who had found his life's great love when a sudden turn of events caused him to radically restructure his approach to living and creating art. William Foley, successful in the ways of the material world, felt himself getting pulled further and further into the abyss of addiction before he woke up to the obvious spiritual lack in his life. Both David and William experienced the unclouding of vision necessary to see what was plainly before them. Life redesigned itself before their eyes. Sometimes it takes big life events to clear the obstacles that impede us and enable us to see the simple beauty inherent in our own lives. Like an ever present river suddenly revealed, we may never know what we will encounter along the path. Just as we never realized that we may have been blind until we once again can see. We invite you to join us in pondering the ways in which your own life may have been redesigned as you listen to our interviews with artist David Sidroni and Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor William Foley. Thank you for being on this journey with us. As our listeners may know, I am a predominantly plant based eater. It's something that I talk about quite frequently. One of my favorite plants to eat are cruciferous vegetables replete with the anti cancer compound indole 3 carbinol. Cruciferous vegetables are also high in fiber and thus good for the heart and digestive system. Kale, cabbage, broccoli and cauliflower are examples of powerhouse cruciferous plants. As a predominantly plant based eater, I am always in search of the perfect veggie preparation. This weekend I created a roasted Cauliflower with garlic and lemon recipe to share at a family birthday party and the platter was scraped clean. For our deliciously cruciferous roasted cauliflower recipe please go to bountifulpath.com we hope that this helps you get more plants into your d. Having lived In Maine since 1977, I've been around the block a few times and one of those times around the block I stumbled across some work by an artist that I found very fascinating. There were little men and women and creatures that didn't look the way that I would normally think of them, but somehow they kind of called to me. And this work was to be found in Coffee by Design. And in fact, it was to be found in the gallery that I visited. This individual, I'm sure, doesn't remember meeting me back when he had his gallery, but this was my stumble upon and I've remembered it all these years. So to have this artist in the studio with me today talking about his work is an enormous privilege. And there's been a lot of. Both of us have been around the block now a few times. So we're going to talk about that. Thanks for coming in. We're talking to David Sidroni.

David Cedrone:

Well, thank you, Lisa. It's great to be here today. It's an honor to be on your

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

show and your art. Where did this come from? I love it because it's sort of. It's very real and at the same time, not.

David Cedrone:

The imagery came from different life experiences like dreams and events that have happened that I will go and revisit and try and make them a little bit more whimsical. And so because the way my brain works, I have so many ideas, I work in a very cartoon like style because I can produce my ideas faster than something more realistic or those painstaking renderings.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

And this, I think, has become pretty well known within the area. When I've said to people, we're going to have this artist on, and I'll say, it's David Sidroni, some people will recognize your name. But if I say Coffee by Design, almost everybody will say, oh, yeah, I know this guy. So you've become pretty well known.

David Cedrone:

I've been pretty lucky. Within a year back in. I moved here in 1984. By 1985, I was able to turn my artwork into my livelihood, which was really exciting. And back in the 80s, every restaurateer was excited to have a show. And pretty much wherever you went, there was art everywhere. And they were. It was hard to keep anything in the studio. Things would sell that well for myself and my peers. It was really a great. I love the 80s. I miss them. And so things were going really well for quite a few years. And then I decided to open up my own little studio gallery that I had on High street for about four years. And that was really fun for a while. And then life got a little bit more complicated and I kind of closed up shop and started working from home again.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

That's one of the reasons that we wanted to have you on just talk about being an artist and also the complications of life. It's interesting because Mary Allen Lindemann, who was on one of our earlier shows, she suggested that you would be a good guest and not just because you're an artist. She knew that we also had artists on the shows, but she said, this is a guy who's had a really complex life, but he's figured out a way to keep working at it.

David Cedrone:

Well, it was as if I waited my whole life to partner up and I finally met the person of my dreams at like age 33. And at that time I had already had my gallery for a few years and we had been together for about a year, maybe a year and a half, when they had a very severe heart attack which left him with an anoxic brain injury. And so at that point, after about four or five months of 247 in the hospital by his side, I realized that I really couldn't reopen the gallery. I had to stay home and do like 247 home care for him. So I just kind of had to sort of switch directions and work from home. After I did whatever I could for him and just reopened, I created a studio in the basement and worked from there for years to come. And it really changed things because where I had what I used to do when I just had a whole bunch of pets and it was just myself I was able to get, I used to try and get two eight hour shifts in a day with my work because that's all I ever really wanted to do. But then after, after Matthew's injury was so complex that, you know, it really cut my work time into maybe a third of what I was used to producing. And so that, so that really changed how things went. And then a couple of years later when I realized that Matt was going to come back and be, you know, he was like a gentle giant still, you know, and just learning how to compensate for his injury and, you know, be able to sort of navigate through the day. And the doctor said that he wasn't really going to change too much through the years. And that was a really, really difficult thing to face. And so I'm like, okay, here we are, we're stuck at home, we both have really big hearts and what are we going to do? So I decided to go work with Casey Family Services and get my foster care to adopt license. And then we adopted this wonderful five year old that changed our lives yet again. We've had him for about 11 years now and he's doing fantastic he wants to be into musical theater. Wonderful kid. And it just fascinates me how you think you're taking your life and you're going in one direction and then big, significant changes, good or bad, come into your life and all of a sudden you find yourself going in this other direction. It's almost like working with a blank canvas where you go in thinking that your piece is going to be one way and magically inspired, you come up with this whole new creation. And that's what life is. That's what life is like. It's. I actually personally think that some of my favorite artists don't even produce art. It's how they live their life. It's what they've gotten handed and what they choose to do with their time and what they choose to do with their life. And people are fascinating.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

You were 33 years old.

David Cedrone:

I was.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

That's young. And the older I get, the younger it seems. So that's young to be faced with this enormous decision, do I stay with this person or do I not?

David Cedrone:

It was one of those situations where I. It wasn't a choice. Deep, deep down inside, had this person not made it and died? There was 10 minutes without oxygen, so he was basically dead for 10 minutes. And if he didn't come through that, I don't know if I could have made it. So I was so grateful to have. Whatever, whatever. Just. Just the fact that he was still alive. And it's amazing. The doctor said he'd come back as not much more than a vegetable, but now he can function, you know, and navigate his day with really just a little bit of short term memory loss, but still has a great day every day, I think one of the most important things that ended up happening for us is that because I knew him so well myself and close friends of ours that knew him really well and his family included, we all kept reminding him every single day of who he was, what was going on, family pictures and memories. And it was every single day for years and years and years. And like, it took maybe three and a half years before he could even remember my name. And so now it's, you know, it's just. It feels like so long ago. I think that if he were isolated from his life as he knew it and put into a home, he wouldn't have recovered quite as well as he did. And you say, how could I stick with this person? It was like I waited all my life for this person and there was just. It wasn't like there was a choice.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

So you loved him Back to life is what I'm hearing. You and his family and your friends. I know it sounds a little woo hoo, but you loved him back to life.

David Cedrone:

Yes, I would have to say that's still the case. Yeah.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Do you think that he in a way or your life, do you think that your life together and your life with your son became your art?

David Cedrone:

Well, it was years after I adopted my son, we became dads, that things started to get more difficult. All the events of what happened seemed to start catching up. It took years before I realized that I probably have traces of post Traumatic stress disorder from the incident, the injury, a lot of hoops to jump through after adopting a little boy that it was. It wasn't until several years later before I kind of feel like I had a mini breakdown just within my own spirit. I was still able to get everything that I was supposed to get done finished. But then I started leaning a bit more on like drinks in the evening and sort of taking mental breaks more often than I probably should have. And it worked. It worked for a while in that I didn't really have any downtime. I didn't have a break. I've kind of always either taking care of things or taking care of somebody. A few years went by and I realized that I started seeing that I started getting sloppy and forgetting things and not as inspired to produce the work that I was wanting to produce and, you know, kind of feeling like I was capable of an awful lot more and going to sleep way too early, not really getting a lot done. Then I realized I just better, you know, put that down and just start sharpening things back up again.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

We'll return to our interview in a moment. We on the Dr. Lisa Radio Hour and podcast hope that our listeners enjoy their own work lives to the same extent we do and fully embrace every day. As a physician and small business owner, I rely on Marcy Booth from Booth, Maine to help me with my own business and to help me live my own life fully. Here are a few thoughts from Marcy.

[Unidentified voice]:

There comes a time in every entrepreneur's life when the question of which way to go rings out very loudly. Cash flow is tight every month and it seems as though getting ahead is out of reach. At those moments you feel beaten down and can feel like you're at a crossroad. It's that critical time when you have to decide if you're all in or out at one time or another. We all come to a roadblock in our lives and either go through it, around it, or go back, pack it up and go home. And usually it's just before something big is about to break. So the big question is, what is it that you really want to do? Why did you start this business in the first place? Is it truly about a dream and vision or was it just a matter of convenience? These are the tough questions, I know, but they determine whether you can make the business continue to grow. You're the leader and the visionary. So are you all in? If you truly are, then you need to take steps to build that vision. One step is to reassure your staff that you are all in. They feel it when you're down and they need direction. Give them the confidence that you'll do whatever it takes to turn that business around. You don't need to make them any promises, but they do need to know that you can and will lead them. You need to articulate the vision and show your passion so they can share it and help build on your dream. Breathe life back into your vision and get excited again. Only you can make it happen. It takes perseverance and hard work, but if you love what you do, you'll never know it was work. To discuss more, contact me@boothmaine.com.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

I guess what I'm wondering is I see this a lot. Especially well, I see this a lot in caregivers. The people who spent time with their creative energy going towards art, writing, art, photography, they end up, if they are taking care of small children or they're taking care of their older parents or they're taking care of people who are ill, that creative energy ends up going towards that caretaking. So that person or people in their lives becomes their art. They are actually spending their creative energy in that way.

David Cedrone:

Yes. It's not just creative energy, it's all your energy. It's say we all have, let's say, eight hours a day of energy. And if you're spending, if you're used to spending six or so hours on your art and then an event like this takes place, and then you only have maybe two hours on your art and four or six hours on family. It really takes a lot out of your creative time. What's happening now, 14 years later, is that overwhelming passion to produce and create is resurfacing. And I Can't block in enough time to do my art. I'm stealing it from every corner of my day that I can. Like yesterday, it's like, oh, I gotta get the laundry done. So I grab all our laundry, we go to the laundromat. I grab my sketchbook, I sit in my car, I turn the heat on, and I have an hour and a half to just draw whatever I want in complete silence. It was awesome. It's kind of a silly analogy, but then, you know, I also get up at like, 4 in the morning, so I have a couple of hours before the boys get up to get my drawing or design time in. And then when there's time and I want to spend time with Matt, well, you know, I can be in the same room and, you know, I have. I have projects in there that I can be working on. So I'm. So it's over time, I've learned how to infuse getting my artwork done and taking care of the family. And it's all about creating that balance. It's all about creating that flow.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

So when you were talking about needing to sort of take the edge off by the drinks at the end of the day and feeling like this is a little bit. It was kind of dulling you down. You were going to sleep too early. This is. That was something that you decided, you know what? This doesn't really fit in my life because I have now I have this artistic fervor. I want to move forward in my life. I need to get this thing out of my. Or move it further away from my life so that I can engage in my art.

David Cedrone:

True. I actually started getting really disappointed with myself and kind of mad at myself for. It's like, well, you know, I have time to, you know, clean the house, go grocery shopping, you know, do all that stuff, but I don't have any time for my art. So instead of doing my art, I have cocktails. It stopped working. I felt like something really deep within inside me was dying. I wasn't being true to myself. So it's like, well, this totally isn't working. And, you know, just deciding to put that down and spending the time that I would ordinarily use, having a few cocktails, back into just doing artwork. I realized that I have five times more time to do artwork. Just feeling a lot more balanced and happy.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Talk to me about that happy feeling. You mentioned to me on the phone that you are now doing stained glass. And part of the reason that you had to go towards stained glass is because your art For a while got

David Cedrone:

very dark with the images that I produced. For years they had sort of a whimsical, happy, buoyant air to the images. And then after taking care of Matthew for years, I started feeling the loss. It took years before it started to sink in. And then all of a sudden the imagery that I was producing were years and years of pent up sadness or feelings of loss or. It's kind of hard to talk about. It was almost like it all came out and I felt like I had been holding it in for years and years and years, trying to stay strong and get things done. But then all of a sudden, I produced this huge body of work that was really, really dark and had a few shows with that body of work. And the feedback I got was really negative. I mean, people thought the pieces were very powerful, but how could I? They felt betrayed because I wasn't doing happy, light, fun things. I was doing really daunting, dark, scary pieces. It was like my work did a complete 180 and so. And it's not like I would always be doing that. It's just that I did that. And so many people were upset that I switched directions during that phase and that I wanted to hide. So what I did was I took a bit of a sabbatical from painting and started working, trying to teach myself how to do stained glass and have a dear friend, Laura Fuller, on Munjoy Hill, who took me on as an apprentice and, you know, taught me how to refine my skill working in glass. And so I've been really fortunate to have had that experience. And what's great about stained glass is you really can't. It's a way of using really bright and vibrant colors with the black bold line that I always used consistently with my paintings, but more abstract, so nobody could really see what was going on. So there again, there's like another resting space. It feels like a resting spot. And so I did that for the last, like five and a half years. And then within the last six months, I've kind of resurrected the painting again. And so now I'm trying to create about between the two and having a blast.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Isn't that always a bit of a challenge for artists is creating things that are true to themselves, but also something that one could actually make a living with?

David Cedrone:

It is tricky. I think that the art that I produced that was true to myself was so much stronger than the years that I was trying to match a really high overhead. And my work went really commercial and I was trying to please Others, my sales volume increased, but my love of painting increased when I was being true to my heart and painting what I felt and experienced as opposed to what I thought might sell.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

So you might be making more money with one, but you're actually costing yourself on the other hand.

David Cedrone:

Right? So there is. There is a balance. It's interesting because actually it. My experiences, I have actually had more success when I paint what I want and when I paint what I feel and what's true to my heart, and the pieces are much stronger. So it's. It's important for me to remember that if I paint what I love, I'll be able to keep producing. As opposed to when I felt financially insecure and I was painting what I think people want, I usually get to keep those pieces. So it's. It's really important to stay true to yourself and to block in enough time for yourself to stay centered and balanced enough to produce what you love to make. It's the best gift you could give yourself.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

And it's a great metaphor when you talked about working in stained glass, that you actually had to let the light in, that you had to go to this dark place, you had to grieve. It was so important to dealing with all these things that you couldn't have dealt with while you were trying to take care of your partner and your son. But then you had to let the light in. There had to be a balance.

David Cedrone:

That's interesting. I never put the stained glass, let the light in analogy together.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

And it's still a process. It's still a process. I mean, when I talked to you on the phone, you said, wait, your show is about health and wellness? I'm not sure I have the answer. I'm not sure that I'm the best example of health and wellness. And what I said is, I'm looking for people who are trying to live the question. I'm not looking for people who already have the answers. You're the perfect example of that.

David Cedrone:

Oh, when you explain it like that. I got really excited about being on your show years and years and years ago. Someone said it really wasn't like, all my life, I always wanted to be successful. I didn't really know what that was going to look like. And so I had this big goal in my head, and I was racing toward that goal. But really, what's being successful at this stage of the game is the journey as to how you get there. And it's everything that happens between here and that goal which makes your life rich. It's a pretty big life.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

And that's really wellness. It's really the willingness to show up whatever it is that your life gives

David Cedrone:

you and do what's in front of

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

you, do what's in front of you and participate. And even this little detour that you've taken where you realize that maybe a few cocktails at the end of the day, that wasn't really helping you very much, even that is helping you understand you still need to keep showing up, you still need to do what's in front of you. And that's wellness.

David Cedrone:

Right.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

And that's the art of it, too.

David Cedrone:

And just coming to that decision from within, making that stand and taking that extra time and producing it feels like it's given me 15 years back, like almost right away. Very excited about that.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

So going back and really setting some boundaries and saying this art of mine is important to me. It's important to me to live. That's been crucial for you.

David Cedrone:

It has. And it's really, really important that I make sure that I make the time for it.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Well, that will be, I think the best way for us to finish this interview is to suggest that people who are listening, if there's an artist within them, and I think there's an artist within all of us to some extent, that they take the time to bring that artist to the table and let them do what they love to do.

David Cedrone:

It's being true to yourself if you're able to allow yourself that time to produce.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

How do people find out about your art, David?

David Cedrone:

I think the best way would be my website, which is www.davidsedroni.com or friend

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

me on Facebook or go into Coffee by Design and look on the walls.

David Cedrone:

Yep, they do have some pretty substantial pieces there.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Well, you have an incredibly rich and complex life and for us to even sneak a few moments out of that life to spend time together today. I'm so grateful for that. I appreciate your coming in, David, and

David Cedrone:

thank you for having me.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

There are people in the community who offer, I'll just call it a ministry, for lack of a better term, in a way that is sometimes unexpected. I met this individual in I don't even know how many years ago it was, but it was in the bulk food aisle at Wild Oats here in Portland. And there was some special something about this guy. I couldn't figure out exactly what it was, but I knew I was going through an interesting time in my life and somehow he seemed to know that. And we stopped and we talked about things and over time we've developed this relationship where he always has exactly the right thing that I need at exactly the right time. For some reason, I think we all have people like this in our lives. And I know that William Foley is this individual for many people in the greater Portland community through his work as not only an AA sponsor, but also with one of the local natural food and supplement stores here in the Portland area. Thank you so much for coming in and spending time with me today.

William Foley:

It's a privilege to be here. Thank you very much for inviting me,

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

William. Your life took a pretty unexpected turn, I think. Not so far back.

William Foley:

That's exactly what happened. It's my experience I was the last to know that my life was wasn't what I thought it was. I was caught up in an experience of trying to satisfy the world, wearing a mask. And because I wasn't living an authentic experience of myself, it was painful. And I found myself seemingly celebrating my arrival in the world. I was financially stable as far as the world was concerned. I was doing really well, drove nice cars, had a nice house. The outward appearance was perfect. But inside I didn't know who I was and I didn't even know. I didn't even know who I was. But I needed to numb my experience day in and day out under the guise of a celebration. It was something I was worthy of, that I worked hard. It's militime and consequences started adding up mostly in the terrible things that I said to people that I loved. Occasional crumpled metal car accidents. My physical health started to wane. And over time my life crumbled in front of me. And in the end, what was left was just Bill. And I didn't have A relationship with Bill at all because of my demise. Now I look at my breakdown as my actual breakthrough because it was the beginning of a relationship that I started with myself when I let go and stopped trying so hard, stepped away from the doing of my life and moved into the being. And this all came very, very gradually. I noticed my life started getting better and better and better. And I developed a trust in the experience of a so called surrender to my life. And the gratitude that I developed. I'm sorry, in that trust. I eventually was just awed that my life was becoming better. And I developed a deep sense of gratitude in that. AA was a big. AA is the reason I basically found what I was looking for in myself. It gave me the same structure. And I'm not a person of structure. I'm really one who goes with the flow. But I needed to start over and I didn't know it was possible. It's funny, we're coming up on an anniversary of really the beginning of a huge change in my life. And it was the Academy Awards. And Reese Witherspoon was at the podium accepting her Academy Award and she sung out that she mattered. I matter. That's all I ever wanted was to matter. And I looked around, the squalor of my environment at that time, and I was just. I looked up and I said, really?

David Cedrone:

Really?

William Foley:

This is. This is my plan. This is what you have. I just wanted to matter. I wanted to have an impact. Sure, everybody wants to contribute. I think the ego is healthy in that respect. But it came from a place of. I was genuinely heartfelt that, you know, I couldn't believe this had happened to me. I felt like my life had been given to me. What I realized through the program of AA is that it makes no difference whether you created it or it was given to you. You can start over if you're sincere and humble and ask. And through the process of taking on a power greater than myself and asking for.

David Cedrone:

For

William Foley:

another chance, I did a third step. Prayer. I've done two of them. I hope I never have to do one again. But I turned my life and my will over to something greater than myself. And surrender has a bad rap because according to Webster's dictionary, it means to give up. But in AA couldn't be further from the truth. It really means to take on a partnership. I used to wake up every morning and think, what am I going to do today? Well, I wake up now and I think, what are we going to do today? And who are you going to send me? I'm so excited about who's coming because I have no idea. My job is just to arrive. The hardest part of my day so far has been getting here, here, because, you know, I'm afraid to fail. I'm afraid that I won't have anything to contribute. And so for a long, long time, I just stayed in the dugout because if I didn't step up to the plate, I couldn't strike out, I couldn't fail. And in recovery, I learned that you can do that. But guess what? The pitch is coming anyway. So life's happening. And the blessing of my life is I get to participate. As Dr. Brene Brown says, it's not about the winner or the loser. It's about the participants. You showed up, so what? You might not have won, but I came. I don't have to conquer, but I do have to contribute my little bit. And I'm really blessed to be here. Thank you.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Talk to me a little bit about aa. It's interesting because there was a very famous bill that was involved in aa.

William Foley:

There was, you know, AA is something of a combination between a religious group called the Oxford Group. There was a marriage between penance of sorts and this group of people that needed a mulligan in their lives, so to speak. And the religious component is, you know, you have to own your life. I think the miracle of the 12 steps is you ask for something greater than yourself to help you and then that helps that power that's going to, that you're relying on to save you, make some demands on you. And one of them is own yourself, own your past. What is it you've done. And we do this thing called a life inventory. And it's daunting and most of us are horrified by it. And it seems to start off pretty easy where you make a list of all the people, people, places, people, things, ideas, institutions, anything that causes energy in you that you resent. And, you know, it seems to be an outward experience that these things are the cause of all your problems. And then there's this turnaround where you have to ask yourself about these resentments. What was your role in them? And in that you realize how you were selfish, self seeking, dishonest and fearful. And you learn the patterns that occur in your life that have caused you to stumble and want to escape your life. But to me, that is bringing your cross, so to speak, to your higher power and saying, this is me. This is what I've done. I'd like to try again. And once you've done that, amazing things happen. I think there's great gratitude from the Creator that you finally owned not only your successes, but your mistakes and your willingness to want to make things better. I don't know we have this term that God take my character defects. I think we're all a unique recipe. Kind of like if you do any baking at all. It's not good to leave ingredients out. God just takes the things that are seemingly negative about you and uses them in a positive way. I know my need to be happy. My desire to be happy came from a place that I least expected it to come from. From. It fills me up to give that. Who knew that I would be so full by giving of myself? I never had that experience, nor was I ever coaxed in that direction. My idea about life was how much of the pie do I get? Rather than how much can I give? And I know I'll be taken care of.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

We'll return to our interview in a minute, but first let's take some time to explore the connection between health and wealth, something that I firmly believe in and have tried to promote on this show. Joining us is my friend and personal financial advisor, Tom Shepard.

David Cedrone:

What do crisis and extreme opportunity have in common? After years of working with people on both ends of the economic spectrum, we have realized that they both experience the same state, a realization that things have to change. The primary difference is that most of us that are looking at opportunity have overcome a crisis or two. The familiar feelings could give us comfort to know that we've made it through this darkness before. The big challenge the second time is that we may feel we have more at risk to protect our resources and our identity. We've built a heavy and cumbersome system around our money that makes it difficult to move ahead so the person in crisis may have more access to money than the one that stands at the doorstep of opportunity. This is true of us, individually and collectively. What's left is a reward system that increasingly pays off for those that handle risk and capital differently than the vast majority. If you want to move forward, then come and learn more about how the design of money and the design of life have evolved. Please send us an email to infoepherdfinancialmain.com

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

You help now people like yourself who. Who have found themselves in a place of needing change. You've become an AA sponsor. What has that been like for you?

William Foley:

That's become one of the biggest blessings of my life. My sponsor told me a long time ago when I was very grateful to him for saving my life. He reminded me that he didn't save my life at all, that what he did was show me how to save my own life. And if I owed him anything at all, it was to go back into the woods that he helped me out of and find someone else and take that person out of the woods one person at a time. It took me a long time to be comfortable with my own sobriety. I think I needed some time, some credibility in my own mind

William Foley:

had something to offer. You can't give what you don't have. So I spent a good. I spent a good five years working on myself, reading and trying to discover who I am. And then there comes a time where the reading needs to be ceased and the demonstration of what you've learned needs to be acted upon. And you know my own experience in prayer. I knew. I asked to know when the time was right. And this gentleman kept appearing in front of me, and I kept telling him he'd be okay. And months would go by and I'd see him again, and he'd tell me, you keep telling me I'm going to be okay, and I'm not. And I said, when you're ready, you'll decide. You know, I've come to know that once we, as much as we're doers, first we're deciders. And once you decide, the doing becomes easy. So his life hadn't become scary enough for him. He wasn't desperate enough until one day he stepped in front of me as I was leaving Whole Foods. And he said, my father's visiting from Ithaca, New York. We're on our way to an AA meeting. My life is in complete disarray. Will you sit with us? And I sat with them for an hour, and I gave them my story. And the following night, we started page one, the COVID of aa, the Big Book. How we have Become Recovered. And I told him he doesn't have to live a life of recovery. That who wants to be in a constant battle that he can be recovered. And this is somewhat semantics, but the disease is twofold. It's a physical disease, but it's also a spiritual. You know, the idea that I don't have to drink is what I can be recovered from. The physical ailment that when I take alcohol into my system I trigger an allergy of more that instead of most people get an allergy and they stop doing what it was they were doing. If you're allergic to peanuts and they make your tongue blow up, you stop eating peanuts. Unfortunately with alcoholics and alcohol seems to be the missing link. It's what completes us. So we want more and more and more that we live with for the rest of our lives. You either die with it or you die from it. But I don't have to live with this idea that I can drink in safety and that my life is. I can't live without it. And that was an experience I had. The idea of driving by a liquor store without going in wasn't something, you know, I couldn't fathom that. And now I don't have to go that path. The joy of working with someone who is desperate and seeing them get well, telling them that you're three year old and your five year old, they never have to know, they don't ever have to build up. They'll never have a memory of their father being this way. And to slowly, slowly have this person go through the steps. You know, they all want to know what's next, what's next, what's next? And I tell them, you know, the second step doesn't exist. There's only the first step. You take the first step, the second step reveals itself and then the next step reveals, will reveal itself. So years later, this gentleman is, you know, he's a joy in my life. He's such a beautiful man. He shows up for his children, he shows up for his ex wife that, you know, maybe things could have been different for them. But everything happens exactly as it's supposed to. And I think they're both happier than they've ever been. It's amazing that I could help one person. I only wanted to help one person. The problem is I don't know who that one person is. So I help whoever comes to me.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

A lot of people do go to you. You work in a store that a lot of people in the Portland area area frequent. You are right on the front lines of suggesting things that people might do for their health. Do you find that sometimes people are asking for a pill or a potion or a supplement to help them and help their health? And in the back of your mind you're thinking, that's probably not what you really need.

William Foley:

That that happens because, you know, thought is creative. If you think you need something, then, yeah, now you do. If I think I'm anxious, I'm going to have the experience of being anxious. You know, I am in the business of helping people find wellness. I am in the business of selling product, and I try to stick to that. I do remind people often that perhaps what you're looking for is within yourself. I learned very early on in recovery that I am is a very powerful statement. A day doesn't go by that I don't try to drive my experience in a direction of joy. And so I'm constantly in a place of I am well, I am joyful, or at least I try to be. But we're having a human experience. I've signed up for all of it. You can't always be happy. It is something I've been confronted with in my job more and more that it's not my place to tell people, this is not what you're looking for. And I refrain from doing that. The people I work with outside of my job, particularly those in aa, you know, most all of them do fish oils, anti inflammatories. We've done a lot of destruction to our brains and our bodies. And it's a wonderful healing. It helps the body heal itself.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

So there are things that people can do to, on top of being spiritually well, become physically well. So it all works together.

William Foley:

Absolutely. I sell supplements and pills and powders, but I'm really a foodie. You know, I am big into produce. I say stay in the perimeter of a supermarket. That's where all the real food is. If you have to count ingredients and read ingredients, you're probably eating something that isn't necessarily the best for you. You know, years ago, a loaf of bread was four. You know, the ingredients to a loaf of bread was four or five ingredients. Now it's 20. Fortunately, the establishment I work with, they sell some really good food.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

Well, William, I am so grateful to you for taking the time out of your very busy and multilayered life to come and talk to us today about your experience. And again, what I would say is a ministry putting out there the possibility of hope in people whose lives really need that. So I thank you, William Foley, AA sponsor and Minister of Hope.

William Foley:

Minister of Hope, I matter. That's wonderful. That's all I ever wanted. Thank you so much for inviting me. It's been an honor to be on your program.

Dr. Lisa Belisle:

You have been listening to the Dr. Lisa Radio Hour and podcast show number 80 Life's Design. Our guests have included David Cedroni and William Foley. For more information on these guests, visit doctor. Org. The Dr. Lisa Radio Hour and Podcast is downloadable for free on itunes. For a preview of each week's show, sign up for our e Newsletter and like our Dr. Lisa Facebook page. You can also follow me on Twitter and Pinterest Dr. Lisa and read my take on health and well being on The Bountiful Blog bountifulpath.com We'd love to hear from you. So please let us know what you think of the Dr. Lisa Radio Hour. We welcome your suggestions for future shows. Also, please let our sponsors know that you have heard about them here. I am privileged that our sponsors enable us to bring the Dr. Lisa Radio Hour to you each week. This is Dr. Lisa Belisle, hoping that you have enjoyed our Life's Design show. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your day. May you have a bountiful life.